Pervert
by kayak
Summary: Sanji and Nami are working in the galley.
1. Blue Version

Pervert

Sanji locked eyes with the divine goddess, who waltzed her way into his humble kitchen. She paused and held the door handle for a moment before closing the door. Her dark brown eyes were filled with annoyance and frustration. She looked adorable when she was ticked off.

Eager to alleviate the celestial maiden with whatever that may be aggravating her, Sanji halted in his lunch preparation and launched into a flowery poem saturated with admiration and love. He swirled and leaped to her aid and landed in front of her, down on one knee. His hand covered his heart and his other hand offered out to her.

The ethereal angel stood still. Her hand came to rest on her hip and her eyebrow raised in speculation at the sight of him.

Hearts floating all around him, Sanji was in heaven. She looked lovely when she was contemplating. "Nami-swan! What do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" he sang.

"Uh, I just need a quiet place to work," she replied slowly. She bought along a couple of her drawing tools and her notebook. "Chopper and Usopp are too noisy in the library."

"Those bastards! I'll kick them out of the library for you." Sanji made the motions to untie his apron when an outstretched hand stopped him.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't do that. Let me work in here for a while until lunch is ready."

Happiness erupted from his chest like a volcano. Nami-san wanted to work in the kitchen! She wanted to hang out with him! He shook his fists above his head, silently screaming his thanks to the gods. Then he relaxed and exclaimed, "Of course! You're always welcomed here." He stared lovingly at her with hearts in his eyes. She looked beautiful today. Her long hair was so bright and silky. It spilled over her shoulders and flowed behind her back. He couldn't help but trace her delicate neck and her slender shoulders. Her skin was smooth and flawless. His eyes started to rove further down to her chest where they lingered for an indefinite amount of time. She was wearing a bikini!

Suddenly he felt something warm drip over his mouth and chin.

"Sanji-kun, your nose is bleeding."

It took a moment for him to register what she said and then he sprang for a towel, wiping his face. He pinched his nose with his fingers and held the towel there until the bleeding subsided. He laughed sheepishly; his eyes focused back on her face.

She only shook her head and muttered, "Pervert," under her breath. She took a seat at the dining table and dove into her work, making it a point to ignore him.

He sighed depressingly, realizing what a fool he was. He didn't impress Nami-san one bit by ogling at her bosom. But it was so hard not to look at them, especially when she wore clothes that barely hid her physical appearance. They beckoned to him like sirens lulling hapless sailors or a moth to a flame.

Mentally he argued, why shouldn't he look? People admire pieces of art in museums. They travel great distances to view masterpieces. When something is exquisite and excels in form and function, people should look. And Nami-san was certainly exquisite, perfect in every shape and size from her head down to her toes. It would be a crime if he didn't look.

With his resolve clearly established, he continued to look at her, but more discreetly than before. After all, he considered himself a gentleman.

The afternoon went by slowly with Sanji stealing glances here and there. He still busied himself with lunch. Like a symphony conductor, he had complete control of his kitchen with the boiling pots, sizzling pans and baking trays. And among the chaos, he heard Nami-san's melodious voice.

"Sanji-kun, could I get a drink? It's rather hot in here." She closed her notebook and stretched out her arms. That last action immediately caught Sanji's attention.

"Right away, Nami-san." He scrambled for a tall glass and whipped up a delectable fruit smoothie for her in minutes. He set it before her and added a straw for her convenience.

"Thank you," she said sweetly. She took a long sip from the straw. "It tastes good."

"Anything for you!" He beamed at her. He returned to the giant oven to check on the peach cobbler. It was done. As he pulled it from the oven, he heard Nami-san's voice again. This time it sounded a lot closer than before.

"That smells really good."

Startled, Sanji nearly dropped the pie. "Na-Nami-san," he sputtered. He peered up and discovered her by the counter. She had brought along her smoothie and had taken a seat on the tall stool. For some unfathomable reason, he found her grin worrisome. It almost seemed...predatory.

"Could you make me another drink? Something different?" she asked innocently enough.

The way she was sitting, her head propped up by her hands, leaning forward against the counter, his mind was screaming at him not to stare at her chest. Eyes on her face, eyes on her face, eyes on her face! He panted, struggling to stand upright. "What would like you?"

"How about ice tea? I don't want to ruin my appetite with something heavy."

"Ice tea?" Sanji calmed down. That was easy to make. He took her empty glass and placed it in the sink. She had finished the smoothie so fast; it surprised him. He got out another glass from the cabinet and made her drink in a few seconds.

"Could I also get a sprinkle of lemon juice in it please?"

"Lemon? No problem." He put in the combination to the lock and opened the refrigerator. That was strange. He was sure he had saved a bowl of lemons from yesterday.

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing, Nami-san," he murmured. He rearranged the food containers, searching for the lemons.

"Try the bottom shelf," she suggested. "I think I saw them down there."

"Ah." Sanji bent down, moving deeper into the refrigerator. Still no sign of the lemons. "I'm sorry, Nami-san. I can't find the lemons." He stood up and turned. He was confused to find her sitting with her back to him, her legs crossed, already sipping her ice tea. Her face appeared a little flushed.

It must be hot in here, he reasoned. He went to open the windows to let in some cool air.

"That's okay. This is good enough."

Sanji continued with lunch, turning off the stove top and letting the food cool. Every so often he peeked over to her to see what she was doing. Of course now that he had a better and closer view, he couldn't help but admire those long slim legs of hers. He had to thank the gods again. Instead of her usual long pants, she was wearing shorts.

"Sanji-kun."

He snapped alert. He hoped she didn't notice him ogling at her again. "Yes, Nami-san."

"Could you do a tiny favor for me?" She batted her pretty eyelashes and smiled seductively at him.

"Anything!" he breathed excitedly.

"Strip for me."

He opened his mouth only to close it. He blinked in confusion. "Strip what?"

She sighed and dropped her head down. Slowly and carefully she enunciated her request. "I want you to strip your clothes off for me." She smiled again.

His eyes widened. Strip his clothes? What did this mean? At that moment, getting his brain to work was hard. He didn't understand her request. Maybe she was tired of his perverted looks and this was her way of teaching him a lesson. Maybe she didn't like his clothes, but he pushed that possibility away. He was dressed impeccably today. Maybe she was...

Then it clicked. His Nami-san was having naughty thoughts about him! "Does this mean you've fallen in love with me?"

"No," she answered bluntly.

The kitchen took up a dreary atmosphere. His heart fell and he wanted to cry.

"If you don't want to do it, that's all right with me." She took another sip from her ice tea and then gave him a bored expression. "It's nothing important."

"No, no, no, no, no," Sanji babbled, waving his hands. "If you want me to strip, I'll strip." He realized he was panicking and he looked to the main entrance, wondering if anybody was coming in anytime soon. "Do you want me to strip now?"

She grinned and nodded her head.

Nervously he untied his apron and placed it on the counter. His hands hesitated when he reached for his necktie. He glanced over to Nami-san to see her watching and waiting. She was serious about him stripping. He gulped and summoned all his courage to continue. Off came his necktie and then he started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Slowly," she instructed. "Take your time."

His cheeks heated from her comment, but he complied and slowly slipped off his shirt. He added his shirt to the small pile of clothing forming on the counter. Shirtless, he felt extremely self-conscious, dying of embarrassment really. He couldn't meet her scrutiny. Did she mean him to strip everything? He shucked his shoes to the side. When he was about to grab his belt buckle, something flew through the air and hit his head. He caught his apron as it dropped into his hands.

"You can stop."

"Stop?" he murmured. He was stunned. Did he do something wrong?

"Yeah, go ahead and put on your clothes." She jumped off stool and sauntered back to the dining table to collect her drawing tools and notebook. "You need to finish preparing lunch, don't you."

Sanji was devastated and speechless. Nami-san was leaving the galley. She was leaving him. A pitiful and dismal thought occurred to him, the reason for her abrupt departure, and it shamed him to no end. Anybody with any braincell could see. He was a terrible stripper!

Not a man to take defeat easily, he swore to himself he would practice, practice everyday if he must, to become the best damn stripper Nami-san had ever seen. So if the opportunity ever arise and she ask him to strip again, she won't be disappointed.

Ready slink back to work in the kitchen, he put on his shoes when he noticed his shirt was missing. His necktie was where he left it, but his shirt was gone. He turned to ask Nami-san if she had seen it, but she had already disappeared.


	2. Orange Version

Pervert

Nami twitched her nose and continued walking at a brisk pace. The clean, fresh air of the sea was invigorating despite the smell of burnt explosive. The morning had started out nice and quiet. She had planned to update her logbook until Usopp and Chopper invaded the serenity of the library. Usopp had a sudden inspiration, big plans, plans of creating exploding pellets that gave off noxious odors that could incapacitate any opponent. He needed Chopper's expertise, his nose to be precise, and dragged him off to be his assistant. Why they couldn't experiment in his main office was beyond her. She even brought the idea to their attention. Their excuse: they needed to research first, gather data. They promised to be quiet, but that didn't stop them from snickering at nearly everything they found in the library. Then they started to play catch with the books. Next they made paper airplanes out of their research notes and threw them back and forth.

The last straw came in the form of an explosion. There was a loud bang, followed by screams and smoke. Chopper was shouting and running in circles. Usopp darted to the main entrance and swung the doors open. He started fanning out the smoke, coughing and gagging. He calmed everyone in the room, which was only Chopper, reassuring him that everything was fine and nothing was dangerous.

Murderous thoughts were forming in Nami's mind. Accident or not, it was all Usopp's fault.

Frustrated, Nami had enough. She slammed her notebook shut and stormed out of the library. She got to the lawned deck when she slowed her pace. She didn't know where she should work. She thought about heading down to Usopp's Factory since she knew he wasn't there, but decided against it. With her luck, he and Chopper might suddenly turn up and start on their odor project. Go back to the women's quarter then? Robin was cleaning and doing the laundry today. Zoro was almost always training in the Crow's Nest and Franky was in his Weapon Development Room most of the time. The Aquarium Bar wasn't exactly known as a workplace. People went there to drink and relax. Where then? There was only a few places left to decide on. She thought briefly about the infirmary. It had a swivel chair and a desk she could use. She was pretty safe to assume no one was going to be sick or hurt anytime soon.

Her mind made up, she turned around and climbed back up the stairs. Taking a shortcut through the galley, she was met with a heatwave when she opened the door. It was like the deserts in Alabasta. She hesitated a moment, wondering if she should leave the door open to let in the cool breeze. Finally she concluded if Sanji wanted it open he would have done it himself and so she closed the door.

Of course her appearance didn't go unnoticed in the kitchen. Sanji bounded and twirled, sprouting about maidens, flowers, his adoration and something else she couldn't catch. No matter the situation, he was always excited to see her.

"Nami-swan! What do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" he rejoiced. Little hearts bubbled magically around him.

Nami stepped back and stared at him. He was down on one knee, his hand over his heart and his other hand offering out to her like he was expecting her to take it. "Uh, I just need a quiet place to work," she muttered slowly. She showed him the drawing tools and the notebook to prove her intention. "Chopper and Usopp are too noisy in the library."

"Those bastards! I'll kick them out of the library for you." Sanji stood up and was on his way out, his hand reaching back to untie his apron.

The last thing Nami wanted was for him to beat up Usopp and Chopper on her behalf. Knowing how things worked around here one thing would lead to another. Usopp and Chopper would protest about their unfair treatment because really, she left the library on her own accord without complaining anything to them. Zoro would hear the commotion and come down to investigate. He and Sanji would go into one of their silly bickers. Luffy would jump in because he didn't like being left out of anything. Then Luffy would realize he was hunger, in which case, Sanji would scold him and tell him to be patient. Zoro would then point out he should be in the kitchen finishing lunch instead of yelling at Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy. Sanji, who never liked Zoro having the last word, would blow up again, start another fight with him and so on. When the dust finally cleared, they would look at her and blame her for starting the whole thing.

Fortunately for Nami, it was easy to change Sanji's mood. "Don't do that. Let me work in here for a while until lunch is ready," she said, rolling her eyes at him. Of course now she was stuck working in the sweltering heat of the galley instead of the infirmary like she planned.

Sanji became elated at her request. "Of course! You're always welcomed here." With hearts in his eyes, he was practically screaming his thanks to the gods.

Nami let him have his moment of joy. He was happy so why spoil it for him. It took a while before she noticed he became quiet and still. Then she realized he was staring at her chest. Her eyes narrowed darkly at him. His eyes wide and his face looking lecherous, she should have known that would happen, especially since she was wearing a bikini. She tried waving at him and then snapped her fingers, but no response from him.

For Sanji, staring directly at her bosom was equivalent to staring directly into the sun for normal people. It was bad and it shouldn't be done. It wasn't long before his nose started bleeding, dripping blood over his mouth and chin. She wondered if she should let his nose bleed until he went unconscious or try to warn him about it. Nami decided to be nice today and tell him. "Sanji-kun, your nose is bleeding."

Despite her verbal warning, he didn't acknowledge her immediately. It was a good few seconds before he reacted and grabbed a towel to stop the bleeding. He laughed weakly, looking embarrassed. Seriously, she would never understand the fascination some men have over female boobs. She muttered, "Pervert," at him and then took a seat at the dining table.

It was hard to get any work done in the galley for two specific reasons. First, it was hot as hell. How in the world did Sanji manage to do anything in this baking-hot temperature? Even in her light clothes she was sweating and uncomfortable. Second, Sanji was ogling her at every chance he got. Sure he was preparing lunch, trying to look busy, but she caught him more than a few times, rubbernecking at her. That in itself was distracting and it also made her feel self-conscious.

No point in trying to work, Nami closed her notebook and stretched her arms in the air. She could use a drink; she was thirsty. "Sanji-kun, could I get a drink? It's rather hot in here."

"Right away, Nami-san." In a few minutes he made her a yummy looking smoothie, included a straw for her use and then set it in front of her.

"Thank you," she said delightfully. She took a long sip and smiled. "It tastes good."

"Anything for you!" he exclaimed with a huge smile on his face. He floated away and stopped by the giant oven for a quick look.

Curious, Nami watched him as he worked. It seemed unnatural to wear so much clothes like he did. Even on the hottest days, he wore a suit and tie. It was rare to see him in casual clothes. It was like he was trying to hide something under all that clothes. Not that she saw any reason to be secretive. From where she sat, he looked fit and trim. He was no slouch. Besides, nearly all the male crew mates were busting to show off their chests like it was the latest craze. Everyone except for Sanji and Brook, and Brook she didn't count simply because he didn't have a chest.

Right now Sanji was very absorbed in his work. She considered her options and decided why not. She needed another drink anyways. She jumped off her chair, quietly snuck over to the counter and took a seat there. In a loud clear voice, she publicized her new location. "That smells really good."

"Na-Nami-san," Sanji sputtered when he heard her. He juggled the giant pie in his hands almost dropping it.

It amused her that she caught him off-guard like that. She stifled a giggle, but grinned wickedly at him. She leaned forward on the counter, squeezing her breasts between her arms, making sure he had a good view of them. "Could you make me another drink? Something different?" She indicated to the empty glass on the counter.

Sanji was struggling mentally and physically on what to do next. He was bug-eyed, but he kept his focus firmly on her face. Finally he regained enough of his senses to put the pie down and close the oven door. "What would like you?"

"How about ice tea? I don't want to ruin my appetite with something heavy."

"Ice tea?" Sanji relaxed. He fell into familiar territory and made another drink for her.

As he placed the ice tea on the counter, Nami asked, "Could I also get a sprinkle of lemon juice in it please?"

"Lemon? No problem." He walked to the refrigerator and looked inside.

"Something wrong?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing, Nami-san," he mumbled, making a racket with the containers.

"Try the bottom shelf. I think I saw them down there," Nami lied. She knew darn well that the lemons were gone. Franky had asked for them the night before. He wanted to formulate a new favor of cola. How did adding lemon to cola make any difference was beyond her. She still didn't understand how the ship ran on carbonated sugar water. But she didn't question him and only keyed in the combo for the refrigerator lock and gave him the lemons.

"Ah," Sanji bent down and proceeded to look there among the cabbages and lettuces. Nami, on the other hand, took the opportunity for a better look at his posterior. She stood up and hung over the counter. Not bad, she thought. She shot back down on her seat the moment he straightened.

He turned to her and apologized. "I'm sorry, Nami-san. I can't find the lemons," his voice trailed, obviously confused at what he saw. His confusion quickly passed as he hurried to open the windows.

"That's okay. This is good enough," she said, casually sipping her ice tea. She crossed her legs, hoping he didn't notice her flush. That was a close call.

Sanji went back to his cooking and Nami continued to sip her drink. Re-crossing her legs, she could tell he was checking out her again. This time she didn't make a remark about it. If a little skin made him happy, why be stingy about it? But it seemed unfair that he got an eyeful of her while she got a fully-clothed man to look at. Women liked to look as well. Where was their eye-candy? She grumbled to herself. The world was filled with double standards. She only wanted her fair share.

"Sanji-kun."

"Yes, Nami-san." He beamed. He acted to attention so fast, he created a tiny breeze.

"Could you do a tiny favor for me?" She eyed him seductively, playing with the straw in her drink.

"Anything!" he voiced enthusiastically.

"Strip for me."

He was about to comply, but paused suddenly. His mouth opened and then closed in confusion. "Strip what?"

Nami sighed and dropped her head. She couldn't believe she had to explain herself, but Sanji was genuinely puzzled by her comment. She tried again. "I want you to strip your clothes off for me." She smiled again. If that wasn't clear enough, she was going drop the whole idea.

It seemed Sanji still had trouble understanding her because he wasn't moving. There seemed to be brain activity, but he was slow. Finally hearts formed in his eyes and he shouted, "Does this mean you've fallen in love with me?"

"No," she replied flatly.

The atmosphere became dark and depressing for some reason. Sanji was on four, crying to himself.

"If you don't want to do it, that's all right with me," Nami spoke, sounding bored. "It's nothing important."

"No, no, no, no, no," Sanji babbled, picking himself off the floor. "If you want me to strip, I'll strip." He glanced uneasily at the main entrance and whispered, "Do you want me to strip now?"

Nami grinned and nodded her head.

Nervously Sanji stepped back and untied his apron. He lifted it over his head and set it on the counter. His hands shook a little when he reached for his necktie. He peered at her for moment and swallowed before continuing. He loosened his tie and tossed it with the apron. Next he started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Slowly," she directed, enjoying his discomfort. "Take your time." She didn't realize it, but she was chewing on the end of the straw. Her ice tea gone; only the ice cubes remained. She couldn't believe her eyes. He was actually going to strip. She didn't know why, but her heart was racing, which didn't make any sense since she had seen him without his shirt before. Somehow it was different when she was watching him undress. The act was very provocative; something she didn't count on.

His shirt finally came off, his toned chest bared for her to see. She held her breath at the sight of him. He had definitely been working out all those years!

It was only when Sanji started unbuckling his belt did Nami snap out of her daze. Reality hit her like a ton of brick. He really intended to strip everything off! That freaked her out. She didn't plan on him going all the way and she didn't want the situation to turn M-rated on her. She had to stop him.

Grabbing the apron off the counter, she flung it at his face. It made contact and it fell into his hands. "You can stop," she said, trying to sound calm and normal.

"Stop?" he murmured. He appeared stunned.

"Yeah, go ahead and put on your clothes." Nami was breathing easier now that he stopped. She hopped off the stool and ran back to the dining table. "You need to finish preparing lunch, don't you."

Sanji was speechless and had a sad look like a lost little puppy.

Nami felt bad, but there was nothing she could do for him. She needed to get out of there before he insisted on finishing his strip show. She collected her things and sprinted outside the galley. With the door securely closed, she leaned back against it and started fanning herself with her notebook. It was very hot in there.

Wondering if she should grab a quick shower before lunch, she noticed she had his shirt.


End file.
